questions Thursday, March 09, 2006Tomorrow I start the jourey that I've been on my whole life. The journey that will never end until the day we all die.
Who will I be? Where will I go? Who will say my name once I've gone?
What do we want of the world? Of our lives? Do we want to echo in history, or do we want to echo in the hearts of those we leave behind?
Who will we have to leave behind? What will we leave them?
When do we decide who we are? Who is it that decides?
Perhaps what we're looking for for so long is ourselves, and we don't have the slightest idea where to look. In the mirror, we can only see our front. Our outside. What about when we walk away? When we leave the room? Who is the 'me' that we left behind?
When the lights go out, when we fall asleep, who is it that says what about us while we dream?
What road do we choose? Which, really, is the road less travelled? Forget where we'll be in five or ten or thirtsy years, where are we now?
When you were younger, you knew what you wanted when you were the age that you're at now. Have you achieved that?
How do you betray your younger self? How do you give up your past futures? How long does your future last? How many futures die with every choice you make?
Do you have someone to share you darkness hours with? Do you have someone to share you greatest moments with? Who will never judge you? Who will always love you? If you have an answer to these questions, you're well set for the future. If the person you're thinking of is someone that you're terrified of losing, you're on the right track.
How can I ask these questions that I can't begin to answer? How can I make choices when there are so many, all equally good and similarily wrong?
How can I move forward when all I want is to freeze myself in the past?
When I was young and unafraid, the world was a place of possibilities.